She wanted to be in the delivery room with me but I refused to let her, my husband said he'd keep her out of the room under the condition that she be the 1st person to hold the baby. Just tell everyone to wait a week or so, my husband said, reminding me that I had just pushed a baby out of my body and needed time to rest. Nobody smokes. Is it no wonder that everyone is breaking down your proverbial door to snag a sec to snuggle with that delicious baby? But months later, looking back on that time in my life, I do still wish that I had held back with the visitors. Will the COVID-19 Vaccine Be Safe for Babies? MEL73104 December 2009 My little girl was born Dec. 15th, so she's 8 days old. We know COVID-19 is contagious up to 48 hours before anyone develops symptoms, and activities like talking, singing, and sharing food indoors increase transmission rate significantly. A few months ago, I winced my way through 36 hours of, Heather Rae El Moussa Shares Exhausting Look at One Month, Over the next few hours, we were visited by my parents, my mother-in-law, my brother, future sister-in-law, my sister, and her boyfriend. No one has ever made me happier. The parents don't want the burden of having to offer food and drinks or otherwise entertain their guests. The latter occurred for one dad as he welcomed his first son and chose not to let family members hold the baby . I started to wish that my husband and I had tried cocooning, a parenting trend thats been in the news recently, where parents hole up in their home with their newborn for a few weeks just them, no visitors at all (not even grandparents). Show children how to support the head and neck. Third-hand smoke (that which sticks to the hair and clothes) is just as dangerous as first and second-hand smoke. This means they need to feed little and often. Am I being a bad parent by letting my five-year-old sleep in our bed. It's something that they are doing for the newborn and for themselves. In any case, the grandparent without access is likely to be jealous of the other grandparent, adding more hurt feelings to the mix. If you ask an overwhelmed parent what you should do, you're simply giving the parent another thing to think about. Also Read:How to Hold an Infant Properly? The practice is soothing and can help prevent babies from startling themselves awake. Shes not the property of general public and acquaintances just because she is cute. As newborns get older, they'll nurse less often and have longer stretches between feedings. So we did it. 483623. http://s1187.photobucket.com/albums/z393/LindsayLooWho/?action=view. Its understandable that everyone wants to visit and see your baby, says Dr. Schaffner. Seriously; I had to stop myself from shrieking, Look what we made! November 7, 2022. by Janna Firestone. However, generally, experts agree that babies are most vulnerable in the first few months of life. This should go without saying, but it can be fatal to your child to be around anyone who is sick. I didnt know what to say. Germs and bacteria that may seem harmless to us are quite dangerous for your baby as their immunity is not fully functional yet. Visitors may bring their own children, and small children can be disruptive, as well as often carrying the aforementioned germs. While we both wanted to do nothing else besides hold her and gaze at her, we also couldnt wait to show her off. Youre entering a new phase of your life, and its one of the most emotional experiences youll ever go through. I in fact never asked to hold him, only GM and GF did. For more information on cookies please refer to our cookies At the same time, we need to think about the risk of denying things that are important to us or are necessary, such as not holding a newborn grandchild for the first time or not receiving the family support new parents might need during the postpartum period. In-laws may not see any reason to callyou are family after all, they think. Bex has felt immense anxiety around coronavirus, which has meant she won't let her family hold her 11-week-old baby (Picture: Bex Renshaw) When you . The ideal time is when your child is about two months old, but everyone knows that it is not so easy to keep visitors away for so long, and most parents do not want to be isolated for as long anyway. I was trying to do a million things at once: breastfeed, pump, care for a baby for the first time ever, take care of myself, sleep, eat, shower, complete the simple acts of sitting and walking, change diapers, and keep my house (at least a little) clean for visitors. by Susana Kuehne. This might be just your primary household or include a few other loved ones or friends, as well. Nearly everyone wants to take a peekor even have a cuddle. Your email address will not be published. "Zoom or skype visits are a good way to introduce baby to the world as well," says Dr. Khan. Household Safety: Preventing Suffocation. It's a balancing act in raising loving children who have their own sense of boundaries. If breastfeeding isn't possible, use infant formula. Or carry your baby in a carrier or . We are so blessed to have this little family. If you are a visiting grandparent, offer to stay in a hotel when you visit. Signs of infection in newborns include fever (over 100.4 degrees Farenheit), being too sleepy to feed, or a sudden change in behaviorall of which should be evaluated by a pediatrician immediately, says Dr. Hasson. And OMG, that heavenly newborn baby smell. To snuggle skin to skin, eye-to-eye, face-to-face, breathing in his sweet new baby smell while he breathes . Catie. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Doing so will cocoon the baby from outside germs, says Dr. Ahmed. It can be hard to keep family and friends away who are clamoring to cuddle your baby. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. When my doctor came by to check in on me and told me she was beautiful, I beamed with a pride I had never felt before. Throughout all of that, my phone went off constantly with texts from friends and family members everyone wanted to know when they could come visit. If your baby starts to cry, ask to have him or her back as she needs you. If he contracts a fever, it means a trip to the emergency room with a resulting sepsis workup, says Sharon Nachman, M.D., chief of the Division of Pediatric Infectious Diseases at Stony Brook Children's Hospital. A major concern is a potential infection (like pertussis) that can be passed onto your infant, Dr. Schaffner explains. I don't want a sick baby. Their baby their rules. Letting family members hold your baby. Except for the hepatitis B vaccine, these are administered at the two-month-old well visit and include the Hib, Prevnar, DtaP, IPV, hepatitis B, and rotavirus vaccines. This time frame might not work for some families, particularly if you have parents who are helping to take care of the baby. If you take your baby outside of your home, insist that others near you wear a mask. Were very close with our families, and we wanted them nearby. We had told the grandparents that they were welcome at the hospital and we would draw the line there. Come up with a couple of general purpose lines to fob people off, and dont mind anyone who complains. Since mom herself will be back on her period soon, there's no valid, medically-proven reason that someone's menstrual cycle would cause any harm to a newborn. You can obtain a copy of the Others say that the grandparents won't be allowed to visit their newborn grandchild for the first few weeks or even months. Well, most of the time. My parents and mother-in-law were over almost all day every day, cooking, cleaning, and helping and while it was very much needed, I felt like I hadnt had one second to myself in days. Why would parents do this to grandparents? When parents ban grandparents from visiting, usually it is to allow the new family to bond without any complicating factors. it is flu season & such little babies have to be hospitalized for a fever. A newborns immune system is its strongest in that first week. More than 5,000 readers have already pitched in to keep free access to The Journal. When anyone came over, I tried to politely sit and talk with them while also having to lock myself in my bedroom every hour or so to breastfeed and pump. Clinton, a 74-year-old nonprofit worker from Alexandria, Louisiana, hasn't met the newest addition to his family, five-week-old baby Julia, due to the coronavirus restrictions. Should I cut down on her baths. we were VERY careful in the first couple of weeks of who we let hold our baby. Well, maybe not for the new mum or dad. DH: testicular cancer survivor!! It is unpredictable in that we never know how widespread it will be and how severe the cases will be when it does come around. There are times, unfortunately, when family can cause unwanted drama surrounding a blessed event. Susan Adcox is a writer covering grandparenting and author of Stories From My Grandparent: An Heirloom Journal for Your Grandchild. We are skipping all of the holiday events this year and pretty much not letting anyone meet the baby for now. advertising. Your little baby and their developing immune system simply aren't ready for germs yet. For this reason, it's best to limit the number of people who touch or hold your baby. In a, I think it's a little weird that you asked to hold it. Have a parenting question you want answered? RSV Cases Surge Across the U.S., What To Know and How To Protect Your Kids, How to Prepare for Your First Day Home With Your New Baby, The Best Infant Car Seats for Your Precious Cargo, The 11 Best Baby Wraps and Slings of 2023, A Complete Guide To Your Baby's Five Senses, The 7 Best Pacifiers for Newborns of 2023. All of my excitement about showing my daughter off was slowly fading. I could not wait to introduce my tiny little human to everyone in my life. She likes to write research-based articles that are informative and relevant. When introducing your baby to family members, hold these visits outdoors, when possible, and everyone gets to mask up and keep their . A few months ago, I winced my way through 36 hours of induced labor to give birth to my very first child, a beautiful baby girl. Helping your baby to sleep How to change your baby's nappy Nappy rash Reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) Soothing a crying baby Washing and bathing your baby What you'll need for your baby Keep your baby at least 6 feet away from people not in your household. To embed this post, copy the code below on your site, 600px wide 2023 SheMedia, LLC. Be VERY cautious in the first month of life. If a baby is crying due to hunger it's because you missed their hunger cues. If you are lucky enough to have the chance to visit and bond with your newborn grandchild, try not to overlook the needs of the parents. Plus there are a lot of people in our family and almost all of
When the new parents are sleep-deprived and otherwise not at their best, the stage may be set for conflict. As recently as the 1970s, postpartum hospital stays averaged four days. My baby's skin is dry. I cried about once every hour, sometimes because of something that happened, but mostly for no reason at all. . I love her so much that I cry when I look at her, I miss her when she is sitting across from me being held by someone else, and I would go through the pain of childbirth a hundred times over if it meant getting her. On the other hand, feel free to ask others to respect your need for them to keep their distance. Is this reader being unreasonable? all my other kiddos were pass'a babies in family events. I let people hold him, but they HAVE to wash their hands first. It would be best for visitors to wait until the baby is at least two months old.. created content and their own posts, comments and submissions and fully and effectively warrant 6. Your baby has a right to her own space too. For example, just because your niece or coworker wants to hold your baby does not mean you need to let them. Now that research has shown that holding babies does not "spoil" them, but is, in fact, what they need most, we would be wise to listen to our hearts and "hold that baby all the time." Pam Leo is the author of Connection Parenting: Parenting through Connection instead of Coercion, through Love instead of Fear (Wyatt-Mackenzie 2005) and is the . It made me so happ, My personal opinion is that it is ridiculous to not let healthy family members hold a new baby. We just said no visitors at all this time since everyone, im not going to lie, I wish i could stop everyone from holding my baby. My sister said I was being too much of a germaphobe, but I don't care. Celebrating the birth of your baby with loved ones is a special moment for all new moms. It's raising a child with our amazing "village" and never putting them in compromising positions. Physical distancing is one of the most important ways to reduce the spread of COVID-19. Im not entirely sold on the idea of cocooning (it seems a bit extreme), but I do wish my husband and I had given ourselves more time with the baby on our own in those first few days and weeks. Some people are being understanding, others are not. From then on, when friends texted and asked if they could come by, I told them it would be better if they visited when we got home. A few months ago, I. Then, of course, there was the emotional problem: Every once in awhile, when someone else was holding my daughter, tears would well up in my eyes and I would feel the sudden urge to grab her and walk away. I have a 3 month old and have just starting letting grandparents have a hold in the last couple of weeks. Almost everyone wants to hold a new baby, but there are real concerns to keep in mind. "Parents are already experiencing so much stress bringing their newborn home," Soneji says. Nobody has a right to your baby, and that includes close family. Want to win a copy of psychotherapist Philippa Perrys new book, The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read? Their feet should land on either side of your hand, angled closer to the ground so the baby is at a . So, it's advisable to avoid letting most people touch your baby and to avoid crowds, says the pediatrician. The moment the nurses placed her on my chest, my entire world changed. I have never been so overwhelmed and terrified but also full of love at the same time. Strategies that Diamond recommends for keeping your baby safe include asking people to wash their hands before holding your child, insisting they wear a mask, not allowing recently sick. Irish sport images provided by Inpho Photography Sometimes parents who restricted visitors with a first child are completely fine with visitors for subsequent births, especially since there is an older sibling to be cared for. As the weeks went by, I started to feel less hormonal and emotional, less overwhelmed, and more normal. I personally think you are overreacting. Weve never been so exhausted or so happy! Of course, every family has their own experiences, and some bring a child into the world with minimal difficulty. Hold your baby horizontally to the chest level by sliding one arm under the head and the neck and the other under the bottom and the hips. Not hold them whenever possible (please . However, you also want to keep your baby safe from germs and accidents. I love our little family so much. Here are a few things that every parent should keep in mind before allowing visitors to hold the baby: A few ideas to help you do so without being offensive towards anybody. Grandparents may not understand such decisions, but they should at least grant that the parents are acting out of the best of motives. Feedback on Am I being a bad parent by not letting other people hold my new baby?. Even before they were born we talked about how we wanted to have them around others. Verywell Family's content is for informational and educational purposes only. Nemours Foundation. All Rights Reserved. Since newborns can't hold up their heads on their own, it's especially important that their heads are supported and their faces aren't trapped against any objects while they are held. Her work has been published in numerous magazines, newspapers, and websites, including Activity Connection,Glamour, PDX Parent, Self, TripSavvy,Marie Claire,and TimeOut NY. At a minimum, let the new parents make decisions about the length and timing of your visit. You just develop an instinct that connects you with your baby. You know what's best for the safety and health of your baby. That just comes with parenting and extends beyond the newborn stage. Hold your baby. Flu season is predictable in that it comes every single year at roughly the same time. When you visit the site, Dotdash Meredith and its partners may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. Hip Hold. Things like no hot potato-ing or kissing their face. The length of time for visits will most likely be limited by the needs of the baby, says Dr. Alexander. Regardless, once you've got your "bubble" stick to that group as much as possible. Start by selecting which of these best describes you! They want to see the baby and that's what they intend to do. That's why this mother's decision to not let anyone touch her baby for the first month of it's life is causing some serious controversy. Her Dr. actually told us to be paranoid b/c if a newborn gets a
The parents may be concerned that their housekeeping is not up to their usual standards. Having grandparents as house guests can be disruptive to young families under the best of circumstances. for the content of external websites. But when can visitors see your newborn? You can decide to let a dear friend or relative hold your baby but ask that strangers or acquaintances simply look at your baby from a distance, suggests Dr. Hasson. m. moonlitGalaxy. Co-sleeping means sleeping in close proximity to your baby, sometimes in the same bed and sometimes nearby in the same room (room-sharing). They knew we were coming, we were watching their house/pets for them. ), although I still understand how a new mom might not be ok with doing that. Or coworker wants to hold your baby has a right to your child to be a for... Hunger it & # x27 ; s 8 days old has a right to own. A potential infection ( like pertussis ) that can be fatal to your child to be a substitute for medical. 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